A [possible] pact with myself

Today is my follow up u/s. I’ve been trying to keep my hands off google and my mind of bad thoughts but I just can’t help myself. My symptoms again on the down low, upset stomach and bloating are the only two that seem to stick with me. I realize that this blog is turning into a boring personal journal full of wining. When we were going through our IVF#1 I started blogging but stopped completely after we found out that it worked. Instead, I switched to computer journal. I guess I was so paranoid because of our rough start that I didn’t want even to write about it. I still have my personal notes and they are full of wining, anxiety and pessimism up to the last note. I’m trying to make a pact with myself that if we get out of the first trimester, I will try to have more positive outlook and even try to write about other things in my life. Until then, I am a nervous wreck, hoping and praying that it continues to grow.